


Opportunities and Engagements

by aello_np



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: Angry revenge sex fantasies, Episode: s01e13 Boom, Episode: s05e24-25 Grave Danger, First Time, Kink, Light Bondage, M/M, POV, quoting Simon and Garfunkel, rug burns are a bitch, worn leather belt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:40:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23284891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aello_np/pseuds/aello_np
Summary: Gil is going to New York to attend a conference. Catherine, who was supposed to attend, too, drops out last minute. And the ticket goes to Nick... (POV Gil Grissom)
Relationships: Gil Grissom/Nick Stokes
Comments: 1
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [inkscribe](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=inkscribe).



> A/N: Ain't that funny? When I got into the CSI fandom ages ago, I was so into Grissom/Stokes. But I never actually got around to give it a try, got sidetracked by... stuff. Now, after scribbling down several Gil/Greg bits, I finally gave it a shot. Be kind and I hope you enjoy it!

His head was a warm and pleasurable weight against my chest and I felt his breathing slowly evening out. It felt... strange. I had never expected it. I had wanted, craved, desired, even lusted for it, yes, but never did I dare hope. I let my gaze drift from his short, jet black hair against my skin over to the window and felt a smile tug at the corners of my mouth. The curtain was still half drawn back. Snowflakes danced outside the window in the cold New York winter night and I could almost hear that line from Simon and Garfunkel’s “Boxer” as I tried to think of how we ended up there, like this.

A distant memory popped into my mind from years ago, but it was still so very vivid. He sat in my office, still so young and enthusiastic, yearning to get his mentor’s approval and I made him repeat the words “Silk, silk, silk”. I felt guilty for a long time because I knew how much it hurt him. Not just because he was looking up at me. He was one of the good guys. Honest and hard-working. But as flattering as his admiration was, I didn’t want to allow him to take the same path as Sara did. She, too, had admired me. Not so differently, I know that now, but I didn’t know it back then. I just couldn’t stand the thought of being the reason for everything he did and possibly achieved. It’s a lot of responsibility. And of course, it is a huge ego-boost, I’ll admit that when a young person looks up at you and tells you they want to be like you. An attractive person, too. I don’t know what I might have done if Sara had told me that. I mean, spelt out in words. I think she told me, in her own way. Maybe I didn’t want to “hear”, couldn’t hear it, I suppose it’s for the better I did not. I might have been tempted. And who knows where that had led me to?

But there wasn’t the slightest chance that Nicky would fall into the same pattern. Of that, I was convinced. Texan, ever the ladies’ man. Young and charming. There was no way that he’d start to moon over me, I thought. Me, old and sarcastic. Male. I just wasn’t his... type, I had told myself again and again. Ah, how wrong I have been. 

Because there we were. Sharing my bed in a hotel room in New York City. 

I hadn’t anticipated this two weeks earlier. How could I?

  


***

  


It was a quiet night, the second in a row as if all delinquents had secretly signed a pact not to commit any new crimes until we solved all the current cases.

Sara and Greg were writing up the notes on the kidnapping for the district attorney and Warrick wrapped the murder-case he’d worked with Catherine. I’d sent her home the night before and she gladly grabbed the chance to take off for a weekend with her mother and Lindsay. And I had no more excuses to further procrastinate dealing with loads of paperwork piling up on my desk. 

I had tried to make Nick take a couple of days off as well, but he declined. He showed up at the beginning of the shift in my office, telling me he needed to take another look into the evidence of the case we worked together. It was a break and enter. A masked man had broken into an apartment, just to be shot dead by the resident. Nick told me that he felt something was off, and that he wanted to look into it again. Start with a new perspective. He seemed pretty determined, so I agreed. 

“What do you want to do next?”

“I’ll start with the crime scene,” he said. 

I didn’t need to tell him to go there alone. After… we found him, it took me a couple of months until I was ready to let him fly solo again. I was very selfish because I couldn’t stand the thought of him getting hurt again. He was a good CSI, but I didn’t give him the chance to prove it. I never assigned him a case alone. As if reading my mind, he pulled his cell phone from his pocket and gave me a smug grin. “Calling Brass,” he told me and left my office. 

Just as I was about to face the unavoidable, Catherine called. 

“You know the conference taking place in two weeks?” The one in New York City I was practically ordered to attend. Interdisciplinary skills in forensic sciences. 

“What about it?”

She sighed and told me she couldn’t go. For once things were looking bright between her and Lindsay. And that she just couldn’t miss that school choir event Lindsay had decided to take part at. 

Some hours and several folders later Warrick walked into my office and informed me that they were ordering pizza. I wasn’t that hungry but decided I could do with a break. With a sigh, I eyed the pile of folders that still needed to be taken care of. 

Warrick chuckled. “Shouldn’t have sent Cath on a holiday, you know?”

“I’ve some serious doubt she would be taking care of that, even if she was here.” I’d tried that before and it hadn’t exactly worked out the way I’d planned. But I had a deadline and Catherine was not there. 

“We’ll call you when the pizza arrives,” Warrick promised and left me alone with the menacing pile of paperwork again. 

Sometime later Greg showed up and told me that the pizza had arrived. I couldn’t help wondering how much Greg had changed since he’d passed his final proficiency as a CSI. He’d become way more serious. Past were the days of funny headgear and crazy patterned shirts. At times his CD player still blasts that awful music, but less frequently. And I wasn’t entirely sure that change was all for the better.

On the way to the common room, I pondered offering him Catherine’s ticket to the conference. I’m not quite sure why I didn’t. He would have deserved it, and he might have learned a thing or two. I passed the lab in which Nick was standing at the light table, regarding two dozen photographs he laid out in front of him on the illuminated surface of the table. 

He was completely unaware that I was standing by the doorframe, watching him. He shook his head and looked from a sketch in his hand to the pictures on the table.

“No pizza for you?” I asked and he looked up. Confused at first, then a bright grin lit his face. 

“Gris? Didn’t hear you. What pizza?”

“Warrick and the others ordered pizza,” I told him and moved closer. I had an inkling that pizza wasn’t his top priority at the moment. “What is this?” 

Pictures of a hedgerow shot from different angles and distances. The hedgerow with a lamp post behind a sidewalk. The hedge from out of a window, behind the hedge a lamp post. 

I gave him a puzzled look. I had no idea what he intended to achieve with that. The grin grew bigger and even more smug. 

He handed me the sketch. It was the layout of Kirksons’ house including the garden and the bordering streets, as well as the neighbour’s houses. “That’s the layout of the house.” He moved closer until our shoulders touched and for a moment I was utterly distracted by the innocence and the intimacy of the gesture, the warmth he was radiating. And by his smell. No cologne or perfume, just… him. Fortunately, he didn’t notice and went on explaining.

“This is the living room and that’s the kitchen,” he paused and let his finger travel over the paper. “And the perpetrator was supposed to have entered from the terrace right in front of the living room.” His finger pointed to the according spot on the piece of paper. 

“And we did find the corresponding evidence,” I nodded. “The door was broken and we found pieces of glass on the inside.” I wasn’t sure where he wanted to go with that. “Are you suggesting the break and enter had been faked?”

“At least it smells fishy,” he started and drew a deep breath. And I got curious. 

“Why?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “You know, I’ve read Mr Kirkson’s statement. He said that he was in the kitchen, and he heard something in the living room. He grabbed a kitchen knife and when he found the intruder, he stabbed him in self-defence.”

“Doesn’t that sound reasonable?”

“Well, I don’t know,” he gave back. “The thing is…,” he frowned and shrugged his shoulders. “You see, if I wanted to break into someone’s home, I’d check out the place.”

I couldn’t help smirking as I pictured him sneaking around a house, wearing black clothes, a black cap and black camouflage paint on his face. 

“Brass and I checked, you can’t possibly see from the street whether someone’s in the house. The hedge is way too high and too thick to catch a glimpse of anything going on behind it. The gate is covered by surveillance, as well as the entrance to the parking garage. We checked the tapes, Griss, no one entered through there. The hedge is practically impenetrable, except for a small section between the neighbour’s house and Kirkson’s garage. And you can’t possibly see or access that bit from the street. You have to trespass the neighbour’s garden.”

“An inside job?”

Nick nodded. “Looks like it. Brass is having a chat with Mr Kirkson again tomorrow.” He looked pleased.

“Very good,” I told him and his face lit up. “Would you like to go to the conference in New York with me?”

“I thought you were going with Cath?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “She called about half an hour ago and cancelled. Lindsay qualified for some sports event and she doesn’t…” I made a vague gesture with my hand and Nick nodded in understanding. 

“I see,” Nick said. “So you want me to come along?” He sounded surprised. 

“Yes.” 

“Oh.” 

“Are you coming?”

He looked at me for a moment with a blank expression, then he smiled and nodded. “Yes.”

“Good.” I was pleased. “Now let’s get some pizza before the others have finished it.”

Kirkson was arrested for murder. He’d persuaded a former colleague to help him stage a break and enter to supposedly deceive his insurance. After some digging Brass found out that Kirkson suspected that this former colleague had stolen his ex-girlfriend. Driven by jealousy he’d come up with a plan of late revenge.

Two weeks later, we were on the way from the airport to our hotel in New York in a taxi. Outside the night was buzzing with activity and I was looking forward to the seminars and getting away from everything and everyone else at least for a little bit. And, selfish as may sound, spending some time alone with Nicky. I wasn’t quite sure, he was as thrilled as I was. He was quietly sitting at the other end of the rear bench seat and staring out of the window. And I didn’t feel the slightest bit inclined to interrupt his thoughts. 

I half hoped they’d messed up the reservations at the hotel, making us stay in a single room, like in a cheesy romance. But they hadn’t - of course, how could they? - and we each got a room on the seventh floor in the same corridor. 

Much to my surprise - and pleasure - he accepted my suggestion to go for a late dinner after we unpacked and freshened up. We decided not to dine in the hotel restaurant, but go for a walk a couple of blocks to find a restaurant or diner. Not too far from the hotel, we found a little Italian restaurant that was practically half empty. Over pasta and wine, we chatted animatedly about this and that and only too soon we were back on the way to the hotel. 

I wasn’t anywhere near tired yet and had just made myself comfortable on the bed with a book when I heard a knock on the door. Before I could wonder who might knock at that time of night, here, in New York, Nicky softly called my name.

Curious what might be ailing him, I opened the door. Nicky stood there, giving me the lost puppy look Greg usually tries on me. “Sorry to bother you, but I…” He shrugged and something seemed off. I just couldn’t put my finger on it. 

“Can’t sleep?” I offered and he nodded. A little bit too eager. “Mind if I hang around a bit to chat?”

If something was off I’d not find out by sending him away again. And frankly, I didn’t mind some company at all, so I opened the door further. Working the graveyard shift, we both were used to going to bed in the early hours of the day and getting up when others were getting ready to finish their shift or go home again. 

“No, please, come in.” I stepped aside to let him in. The scent of his cologne filled my nose, catching me off guard, as he slipped past me into the room. He pointed to the book I’d put down on the bed. 

“You were reading,” he said with a frown and pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Maybe I should leave you to it.” He didn’t exactly sound convinced. 

“No,” I sighed. It was obvious that something was bothering him. “Never mind, I wasn’t able to focus anyway.” I’d been way too busy trying not to think of the way he’d been smiling at me in the restaurant. He had no idea how I perceived it and didn’t mean it like that anyway. And I shouldn’t be thinking of him like that after all, I tried to chastise myself. 

He picked up the book. “Dr Heather Guillam, wait, isn’t she on the panel tomorrow?” 

“She is.”

His face shone with unhidden amusement. “So,” he started, turning the book in his hands. “You’re reading up to make a good impression?” He smirked and handed me back the book.

“It can’t hurt to be prepared,” I gave back benevolently. I don’t know why I chose not to tell him, that it was Sara who gave it to me a few days ago. It wasn’t a secret, yet I didn’t feel like sharing the fact. 

He nodded. “No, it can’t.”

There was an awkward silence for a moment or two. Hotel rooms, by design, are not actually built to receive guests. In normal apartments or houses, people tend to separate their personal spaces from the spaces where they allow in others. The bedroom not only is where you sleep. The bedroom is the most inner sanctum for most people, I won’t exclude myself in that regard. You literally let down your guard there. It’s where you get naked when you undress and lie down to sleep or to make love. A bed not only is a symbol for sleep but for sex and intimacy and all of a sudden, I was painfully aware of it. And despite the fact that he was here, in what was my bedroom for the next two nights, it didn’t mean anything. Context is everything. It might have been a whole different story if we were back in Vegas, I thought and instantly pushed aside that thought. It didn’t seem very likely at that point.

I’m not sure whether he sensed my sudden unease or not, but Nick stepped back and made it look so casual, as he sat down on the chair. “Isn’t it weird to think that it’s only a week until Christmas?”

I shrugged and sat down at the corner of the bed, clutching at the book. “It’s just a day like any other,” I gave back. 

He looked at me, puzzled. “Aren’t you looking forward to spending some time with family and friends?”

It was obvious, he was. I’d approved his holidays myself and it was no big secret that he was a family person through and through. His parents and all his other relatives probably were already looking forward to seeing him this year. Especially after all he’d been through. I couldn’t say the same about myself. 

“They’re always short of staff during the holidays, so I’ve signed up.”

“You’re going in to work?”

Spending time with your dear ones not only brought out the best in people. Sometimes grudges erupted and a happy family meeting turned into something else. More gruesome. Big expectations and disappointments over presents at the most wonderful time of the year not always went along well. 

“Someone has to.” I didn’t mind. It was better than the alternative. His expression sobered up and for a moment I thought he regarded me with something like pity. “But your parents certainly are happy you’re going to visit.” 

His expression lit again. “Not only my parents,” he started and leaned back in the chair. “Mum told me that basically all of the family that resides in Texas will be there.” He launched into a lengthy list of all the aunts and uncles, cousins and other relatives who had announced their visit to the Stokes’ family estate for the holidays. He continued with all sorts of amusing and entertaining stories of his youth and adventures with cousins and friends. 

I couldn’t even remember half of the names nor the places, but it was a pleasure to watch him speak with his mouth and his hands. After a while, he slipped off his jacket, hanging it over the armrest of the chair, and continued telling just another prank he and a cousin played on a neighbour. It had to do with a couple of potatoes, being stuffed into the exhaust of an old pick-up truck. 

“Man, I can tell you, he was not amused,” he concluded his story and gave me a broad grin. “Nor was dad, when he found out.” He sighed and shook his head. “Maybe I should go, I’m just boring you to tears with my stories.”

“No, you’re not,” I found myself hurrying to assure him. 

“You would tell me if you want me to leave?”

“If I look tired, it’s just because of the flight.” I felt a little pathetic. It was near midnight, and if I’d had some sense, I would at least have  _ tried  _ to get some sleep. It was just like back at university. There was that boy who I was trying to impress. We’d run into each other at the library and would learn for the class together. We’d spend hours and hours over books and notes from class. I had no idea he wasn’t as much into me as I was into him. Every time we were sitting together, I was hoping he’d stay just ten more minutes. 

He flashed a brief smile. “I bet you never did anything reckless as a kid.”

It was a challenge, I was well aware of that, but I decided to take the bait. “You have no clue,” I said dryly and slowly rose. “I think we should raid the minibar first.”

“That bad, huh?” He laughed. 

We had a look at the minibar and weren’t impressed. 

“Let me get something from the bar downstairs,” Nick said. “As a thank you for the dinner, please.” He touched my arm and all I could do was to agree. He grabbed his jacket and heading for the door he wriggled his brows at me and left the room. 

I slipped off my shoes and stared out of the window. It was all so surreal, I pondered, but I didn’t have long to wonder. Before long, he was back again with a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. 

“I hope you like this brand,” he said, almost apologetic. 

“If it’s on you, I do.”

The brilliant smile again and my stomach churned. A very stupid idea. Alcohol, confined space and the one person you shouldn’t dare dream of just an arm’s length away. I decidedly ignored common sense and reached for the glass he handed me and some minutes later we were both sitting on the bed. Him, cross-legged on the far end, me resting against the headboard. Both of us sipping from small glasses, while I was telling him about the pranks I played.

It felt nice and I didn’t want to think of the moment he’d get up to go to his own room to sleep. I didn’t want to think about going back to Vegas again and this being a distant memory only. A memory with no chance of a repeat. Knowing that probably only made it more special and I decided not to overthink it, but enjoy it. 

After some time, he tilted his head and regarded me thoughtfully. “I had no idea you had such a wild youth.”

I wasn’t sure whether it was a compliment or an insult, and I told him so.

He blushed. “Sometimes you act as if you were never young.” He paused and frowned as if looking for words. “I know that Warrick used to have piano lessons. Sara takes dogs from the shelter for walks.” He sipped from his glass. “Sometimes it feels as if you sprang from a huge, hatched egg as an adult.” 

I knew what he tried to tell me and sighed. “Just because I’m not telling, doesn’t mean there is no story.”

“I know,” he gave back. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t.”

He gave me a small smile. “I am still not tired yet.”

We both looked at our watches at the same time. Twenty past one.

“When I can’t sleep I sometimes watch TV,” he said. 

“Does it work?” I didn’t dare ask why he couldn’t find sleep, afraid I’d spoil the mood.

“Sometimes,” he gave back a little evasively.

A couple of minutes later we were watching one of those horrid home shopping stations. I wasn’t entirely sure what exactly they were selling, I was too distracted by Nicky’s shoulder resting against mine. It felt way too comfortable. Strangely new and exciting, yet familiar and I was sure that this evening was going to feature my wet dreams for the next couple of months. 

Suddenly Nicky giggled. “Hey, Griss, I’ve got a great idea,” he said, sitting straight up and placing one hand on my thigh. I’ve had an idea, too, and I was very much sure it was not the same. 

Busy ignoring the proximity of his hand to my cock that was slowly taking interest while trying to act normal, I managed a polite “Hm?”, after I cleared my throat. 

“Let’s play a drinking game,” he suggested enthusiastically. “Every time Harry there says “ _ fantastic _ ” or they zoom in on that thing, we’ll take a sip.”

I knew that it was a stupid idea. It was twenty to two in the morning. We both were, I don’t want to use the term “drunk”, that would be an exaggeration, but a little tipsy, and already way too deep into each other’s personal space. And I was enjoying it way too much for my own good. More alcohol was so not a good idea. “Why not?” I heard myself say. 

But before we could get the glasses and the bottle, they started to introduce a new product and we decided to switch channels. We ended up watching a programme about the wildlife in the Rocky Mountains first, quietly chatting and commenting on the voice over. It was nice, watching it with someone who didn’t feel like talking all the time. 

Finally, we ended up catching an episode of Bob Ross painting some little log by a secluded lake in front of snow-covered mountains. I felt myself relaxing at the soft sound of his voice as he explained the painting and I allowed my eyes to close.

“I should go,” Nicky whispered softly and instantly I blinked open my eyes. It was dark and it took me a moment to realise he’d switched off the TV. I hadn’t even realised that at some point Bob Ross had stopped talking and I had actually dozed off.

“How long have I,” I asked, wiping a hand over my eyes. I hadn’t had that much alcohol. There was the wine with the linguine and two small glasses of whiskey. 

“Couple of minutes,” Nick gave back quietly, still sitting next to me on the bed. “I really should go, I’m keeping you-” His voice was low, and he sounded a little uncertain. As if he wasn’t really convinced he actually should. 

“You don’t have to,” I gave back, very softly, reaching out in the dark and feeling the warmth of his hand against my fingers. He seemed to hesitate for a moment, but he didn’t pull back his hand. 

“Are… you sure?” He asked and I thought it was utterly sweet. I wasn’t the only one who didn’t want this - whatever it was, between him and me - to end. It wouldn’t lead anywhere, of course, but still, it was nice to share this intimate moment with him that had nothing to do with sex. And all of a sudden I felt the darkness like a heavy blanket weigh down upon me and it was more and more difficult to keep my eyes open for just another moment. 

“Nicky,” I sighed, still not letting go of his hand. “That bed is big enough for both of us, so don’t worry.”

He moved his hand, gently, and intertwined our fingers. “Thanks, Griss.”

“Don’t thank me yet,” I said and shifted on the bed, very reluctantly letting go of his hand after giving it another squeeze. “I may be snoring and you’ll regret your decision pretty soon.”

He laughed and the mattress was vibrating. “I’m not sure I can sleep anyway.”

“You know,” I said, stretching out on the bed. “Maybe you should try this new thing called lie down and close your eyes.”

He chuckled but did as I suggested. He moved and stretched out next to me and for a while, we lay in companionable silence. 

After some time, that could have been five minutes or half an hour, he softly sighed and shifted. The back of his hand brushed against my little finger and he froze for a moment. There was a distinct shift in the atmosphere. I could have ignored it, could have let it pass. It was a foolish thing not to let it pass but act upon it, I knew that. Yet I couldn’t just pretend I didn't notice. I wiggled my little finger against his, feeling… reckless and playful. And again he didn’t pull back, but replied to the gesture, inhaling sharply. I wrapped my fingers around his hand and brushed my thumb over the back of his hand. He trembled and when I moved a little closer, I heard his accelerated, erratic breathing and he still didn’t move away or give any indication that I’d overstepped a red line.

Encouraged, I whispered against his ear: “Still have trouble falling asleep?”

I felt him nod, and he produced a muffled affirmative “hmm”, which I interpreted as “yes.”

Still holding his hand, I shifted and placed my other hand on his hip. “There’s something I could try. It usually works pretty well for me when I can’t sleep,” I said, slowly working my fingers towards the button of his jeans. I felt the heat of his arousal through the heavy cloth of the jeans. 

“Wait,” he said and reached for my wrist. “I… I…” He didn’t push away my hand, just held it in place. 

“What’s wrong, Nicky?”

“I’m not looking for a quick roll in the hay, Griss.”

“Nor am I.”

“Are we going to do this back in Vegas?” he asked and despite my own arousal I had to chuckle. “So far we haven’t done anything yet.”

“But we’re about to?” He sounded hopeful, breathless.

“Do you want to?”

He made a sound, something in between a groan and an exasperated sigh. “Do I want to? Fuck, Griss, I already wanted to five years ago when you decided that puns are so much fun when you can use them to outwit me.” 

It took me a couple of moments until I realised what he’d said. 

“What?” He laughed, a low, throaty sound. “Surprised?”

“A little bit,” I admitted, which of course, was an understatement. 

He seemed to be amused by my reply and chuckled. “A little bit?”

Before I was able to reply, he shifted. He let go of my wrist, placing his hand against my cheek and kissed me. Sweet and tentative. And while I let myself be kissed, I tried to figure, how I could not have clued in and realised. I used to pride myself with being oh so clever, noticing little details others did not see or were unable to put into context. And yet I had not been able to figure this one out. Figure him out. 

It… bemused me, but not for long. I allowed myself to fall into the kiss and pull him closer. We moved against each other, slowly at first, tentatively. But soon the kiss, as well as his touches, grew more confident, more determined. 

“So, what about that thing?” He asked breathlessly as he pulled away.

“What thing?” I’d kind of lost track of the conversation at some point in between holding and kissing him. 

“That usually makes you pretty sleepy.” His hand gently caressed my chin and neck and his thumb brushed against my lips. 

“Oh, that thing.”

“Yeah, that thing,” he gave back, sounding amused and I thought it was a pity that I couldn’t see his expression. 

“What about it?” I gave back playfully, letting my hands wander over his hips and over his back. Now that it was obvious he wanted me too, I felt no need to rush things. It was way too late to get enough sleep anyway and very likely we both would regret it at some point in the afternoon. Hopefully not this, but not having had enough sleep. But there had been enough double and triple shifts at crime scenes we both had managed, running high on caffeine and adrenaline. A conference would be a walk in the park in comparison I thought. 

“Are we, I mean, are you...?”

“Do you want me to?”

He reached for my hand and put it back where it had been before and kissed me again. Passionate and demanding this time, slowly rocking his hips forward into my touch, making it very clear that this was what he wanted. 

He drew a sharp breath, as I opened the button and the fly of his jeans. A soft moan escaped his mouth when I closed my fingers around his hard shaft. It didn’t take me long, a couple of strokes and I had him panting against my neck and softly moaning my name. His fingers toyed with the hair in my neck and he rocked into my fist. He let go of my lips and rubbed his cheek against mine, making a soft, pleasing sound.

“Do you like that?” I thought he meant the way I touched him, but he didn’t.

“Hm, yes.” He gently brushed over my cheek. “I… never thought it might feel so soft,” he admitted and I realised he was talking about the beard. 

“Hm, I’m glad you approve.” 

He chuckled. “I’ve seriously contemplated just feeling you up.”

I had to chuckle, too. “Did you?” I tried to picture it. Nicky, walking up to me in the lab, wearing one of those crisp white lab coats, displaying a very focussed, very serious expression and actually asking me for permission to touch my beard. Most likely I’d have considered it to be a prank and expected Greg or Warrick lingering just around the corner, bursting into laughter at my bewildered expression in view of such a request. The only person who had actually dared to comment on the beard was Catherine. She probably was the only one I would have granted permission to feel if she’d dared to ask.


	2. Chapter 2

_ “Did you?” _

“Yeah, somehow I had an inkling you would not let me, so I didn’t even bother trying,” he sighed and kissed me again. Deep and passionate. He slowly moved his hand over my chin, along my neck and over my chest and I wished I wouldn’t wear that much. I wanted to feel his hand on my skin. But that would have required me to stop touching and letting go of him which I just couldn’t. He grabbed the waistband of my trousers, tugging impatiently.

“Let me,” he rasped.

“So impatient,” I whispered softly against his ear and felt him shudder.

“Carrying a torch for five years is nowhere near impatient, Griss.”

“I hope you didn’t carry said torch at work, Nicky.”

“What if I did?”

“Well, then I hope at least no one noticed.”

“I’m pretty sure no one did.”

“You sound pretty convinced.”

“I can be pretty…”

“Yes?”

“... discreet if need be.”

“You don’t need to be discreet at the moment.”

He laughed and his chest was vibrating against mine. “Well, that cat’s out of the bag, so to say.”

“So to say,” I agreed and couldn’t help laughing, too. 

“If you keep tickling me, I may even start purring,” he whispered against my neck and I was very much convinced he would. Just for the sake of it. 

“Would you?” I gave back, but before he had the chance to reply, I pushed him back into the mattress and rubbed my cheek against his hip. He tensed.

“What are you up to?” he asked, trying not to move, but still trembling.

“Oh, you’re smart, I am pretty sure, you’ll figure it out, Nicky,” I whispered, placing a kiss on his hip while tugging at the waistband of his briefs. It was an awkward position, half crouched, half lying next to him. He was still dressed, the jeans and briefs were in the way, but I suspected he wouldn’t last long, so I didn’t bother with it. I took him in my mouth and sucked, tentatively at first. He moaned and I felt him holding back.

“You, you don’t have to do that.”

Way too long I hadn’t dared to do  _ exactly  _ that, giving no indication that my feelings towards him were beyond professional. I had tried to deny myself thinking of him that way, trying to just be a good superior and mentor for him. It hadn’t always been easy and at times I had to keep him at arm’s length, making him work with Warrick or Catherine or even Sara because I didn’t trust myself to be close to him. And I know exactly how it had come across and that I had probably hurt him, more than just once. But now that I had him - well, as good as - naked and willing in my bed, in my arms, I wasn’t going to let that opportunity pass by without seizing it.

He groaned when he realised that I wasn’t going to stop, and he gently patted my head. He murmured something, which I was unable to catch. For a brief moment, I felt panic well up inside because I feared it might be another acute episode of hearing loss, or tinnitus. I was utterly relieved when I realised it was only the blood rushing in my ears. Moments later he came, murmuring my name over and over. I swallowed until he was spent, and tucked him back into his briefs again. I rested my head on his hip, feeling his chest rise and fall with every breath he took, still savouring the salty taste on my tongue. His hand caressed my hair in a gentle gesture and he sighed contentedly. 

“Oh, wow,” he mumbled after a while and I chuckled, feeling quite pleased.

I shifted and he rolled into my arms. “Give me a minute,” he sighed against my neck, while his fingers caressed down my chest to the waistband of my trousers. He tugged at the hem of my shirt, shoving it up to run his hand under the clothing and over my naked skin in a slow and almost lazy gesture. 

“Griss,” he whispered into my ear. 

“Hm?”

He tugged at my shirt again, this time a little more insistently. “Take this off!” It wasn’t a polite or shy appeal.

“You’re pushy,” I gave back, though I didn’t actually have any objection to the suggestion itself. 

“Griss, you’re quite pushy at work,” he tried to reason and placed a gentle kiss on my cheek. “I mean, hey, you’re way beyond pushy. You’re the epitome of pushy at times. I think it’s only fair you let  _ me  _ be pushy in bed.” Said so lightly, as if joking, but I realised the truth behind his words. Though I didn’t consider myself being “ _ pushy _ ” I knew what he was hinting at. In the lab, it was I who called the shots, because of my position and he wasn’t willing to accept that in bed or in a possible relationship. But this was not the time nor the place to have that kind of talk. 

“Agreed,” I consented and with his help quickly stripped off my shirt. 

“I think it’s only fair, if you got undressed, too, don’t you think?” I suggested and slid my hand under his button-down shirt. Of course, I could have phrased it differently, and if he hadn’t said what he had just moments ago, I might have been more… direct. But somehow I felt compelled to follow through with how he wanted to play this. 

He laughed, softly, and gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze. “I think I could, and maybe,” he whispered against my neck. 

“What?”

“Maybe we should get rid of the bottoms, too, you know?”

“Hm,” I hummed appreciatively. “We could. Smart thinking.”

In record time we’d stripped off trousers and briefs and fell on the bed again. He reached for me, unabashed and as if it was the most natural thing to do as if sensing that my patience and self-control were seriously wearing thin.

“Much, much better,” he whispered and kissed me, before letting me reply. He slid a thigh between my legs and wrapped his hand around my aching erection. And I feared that I might come on the spot.

“I don’t think I can…like you, Griss, I’ve never…” he whispered apologetically, and I knew what he tried to say. Considering how close I was I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy it for long anyway. 

“You don’t have to, Nicky,” I assured him with a strained voice, trying to draw it out just a bit longer. 

“Love the way you say my name,” he whispered against my ear and I let go. He kept stroking, steady, using just the right tempo, his hand firm and warm and sure as I fell into the abyss of blinding light. 

He kept stroking me, slow and smooth, while I was trying to catch my breath. “Fuck, Griss, that was so hot,” he whispered hotly against my neck. “Next time we have to do it with the lights on.”

My head was still spinning with the intensity of the implications of what we just did, that it took me a moment to register. 

“You want to do that again?”

“I already told you, I’m not sleeping around, Griss, despite having dated a working girl before.”

I placed my hand against his cheek and kissed him softly. “I didn’t mean to upset you, Nicky.”

“I know, but I was serious.”

“So was I,” I gave back, resting my head against his forehead. I felt heavy, sated and tired, and something slick and sticky on the skin of my stomach and groin. “Give me a minute, I need to clean myself.”

He untangled himself, wordlessly and I couldn’t help feeling guilty. I had upset him, though I hadn’t meant to. I switched on the light and quickly went to the bathroom. I couldn’t look at my own reflection as I cleaned and towelled myself dry. 

He lay on the bed, one arm thrown over his face to shield his eyes. His other hand rested on his belly, still wet with my semen. I sat down on the side of the bed, feeling old and foolish. The mattress shifted and he got up and went to the bathroom. I averted my eyes and laid down. 

I heard the water running and closed my eyes. I scolded myself for being so stupid and affront him like that. I’d messed it up before it actually started.

The mattress dipped and I opened my eyes again. Nicky sat on the edge of the bed, looking utterly crestfallen. “Do you want me to leave?” 

I placed my hand over his, resting on the bed. “No, please stay,” I said softly. “I’m sorry if I upset you, I didn’t mean to.” 

His expression softened and I gave his hand a squeeze. “Come here, Nicky.” 

He hesitated for a moment, then moved to lie down next to me. “Could you turn off the light?” 

“Sure,” I said. I switched off the light, and he moved closer again. My arm went around his shoulders and he rested his head against my chest. For a while we lay in silence, unable to put into words what bothered us. There were many things I wanted to tell him, and I just didn’t know how. He was still there with me, naked in my arms. Maybe it wasn’t actually necessary I spelt it out.

But I wanted to. The darkness somehow made it easier.

“I’m sorry,” I began, “for… trying to outsmart and trick you with a pun.” It had been low. I could as well have skipped that part and just had an honest conversation with him. Telling him that I didn’t think he was ready to fly solo yet, but instead, I’d shown him how stupid he was. Not a smart move.

“Don’t be,” he said and sighed. “I was… quite upset for a while, man I can tell you. I went through all the stages of denial, including the angry revenge sex fantasies. But then it made me even more determined to prove you wrong and become a better-”

“Wait, Nicky, angry sex revenge  _ what _ ?” For the second time that night, I thought my auditory abilities were playing tricks on me. 

He cleared his throat and wriggled against me. “Um, angry revenge sex fantasies,” he mumbled under his breath. 

I had not misheard, at least. “What exactly are a _ ngry revenge sex fantasies _ , Nicky?” I had a vague idea of what he was talking about, but I was dying to hear his explanation.

He cleared his throat again, then drew a deep breath and I already regretted having switched off the light. “You know, when you think someone’s hot, but they annoyed you to no end and, you, um, you kind of want them, but you’re still upset about what they did and you have fantasies about them. I mean, explicit fantasies.”

“Okay,” I said, intrigued by the idea that he’d had sex fantasies about me. 

“Anyway, what I wanted to say was, that I think that after all, you made me a better CSI by letting me repeat after you.”

“I probably wouldn’t act like that today.” I certainly hadn’t considered it with Greg. “It was foolish and I-”

“Sometimes we do the wrong things for the right reason,” he argued. “Also, you saved my life.” He placed his hand on my chest. We’d never talked about it. They had made everyone talk to a shrink, including myself. Reluctantly, I had talked. I knew what they wanted to hear and picked my words carefully. I talked. But never about the things that really mattered. That I could have lost him and what it had meant for myself, not for me as his and the team’s supervisor. What bothered me was private and no topic to discuss because I was ordered to. 

“Nicky,” I said carefully, not wanting to rip open a wound that just healed. “You saved yourself.” He hadn’t shot himself was what I meant to say, which was a difference.

“When I recorded,” he started, then paused and swallowed.

“Nicky, you don’t have to-” I knew how hard it was for me, but I could only begin to imagine what he’d been going through. I didn’t want him to face it all over again. 

“I couldn’t tell you how I felt.” His voice was soft but firm. “I knew that sooner or later they’d find the tape, that anyone could find it, and that everyone in the lab would know about it. I couldn’t tell you how I feel, because it would have been unfair. I didn’t think…” he let his voice trail off and I felt something wet on my chest. I knew what he wanted to say. He hadn’t thought he’d survive. 

“I couldn’t let you go,” I whispered and tightened my arm around him. “I don’t know if I’d managed to survive that long, Nicky.”

“Do you know what the worst part was?”

“I don’t, Nicky,” I admitted. “Tell me.” 

“When I saw your face and thought it was over and you told me it wasn’t.” 

I cradled his head against my neck. “Oh, Nicky, I am so sorry.” I didn’t dare tell him that this had been the worst part for me, too. I still have no idea how I managed to keep myself and everyone else together. 

“You know, they didn’t succeed,” he mumbled stubbornly, sniffled and hugged me tighter. 

“No, I’m glad they didn’t.” 

“So am I.”

For a while, we lay in silence and I didn’t know what to say or how to make him feel better, so I didn’t say anything. I let my thoughts drift off instead. Wondering how strange this was and how we’d ended up here together. His breathing slowed down and evened out and when I was convinced he was already sleeping, he suddenly stirred.

“It really worked.”

“What worked?”

He sighed contentedly and his breath was warm on my skin. “You know, that thing that usually makes you sleepy is making me sleepy, too.”

“I told you so.”

“Yeah, you told me so,” he agreed softly. “Can we get under the sheets?”

We wriggled around a bit until we were under the cover. Nick wrapped an arm around me and rubbed his cheek against mine. “Thanks for letting me stay here.”

I’d almost forgotten about that. The thing that had been off, when he showed up at my door. “What’s wrong, Nicky?”

He drew a deep breath. 

“Come on, tell me, Nicky,” I urged him and reached for his hip under the cover. 

“It’s…”

“Don’t tell me it’s nothing, Nicky, I know it’s not.” I just  _ knew  _ it. 

He sighed. “When we returned from the restaurant and I let myself into my room, suddenly a green neon light was flashing up outside the window. The door just fell close behind me and I...”

“Damn,” I groused and pulled him towards me. I had a pretty good idea of how he must have felt. The door of my room, probably like all other doors and rooms, opened into a very small sort of corridor towards the room itself. Being caught there in the dark must have caused a nasty déjà-vu when suddenly the green light flared to life. Like he’d experienced before…

“You should have told me, Nicky.”

“I couldn’t,” he whispered apologetically. “It took me by surprise, I hadn’t anticipated something like that.” He paused and drew another deep breath. “I hadn’t noticed the lights when we arrived. It just caught me off-guard.”

“I’m sorry,” I told him and gently caressed his back. 

“I didn’t know what to do.”

“You came to me, Nicky, that was very good.” I tried not to imagine how he must have felt. But then, at least he had turned to me. He might not have told me about it instantly, but at least he hadn’t been alone. 

“I couldn’t tell you,” he explained, “ I didn’t want to spoil the mood.”

“You have to promise me one thing, Nicky,” I told him sternly. “Will you do that?”

“I will,” he gave back without even asking what I wanted to make him promise. 

“The next time you’ll tell me instantly, okay?”

He hesitated for a moment, but then I felt him nod. “Okay.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Can we just try to sleep?” He gave back evasively, sounding really tired. 

I didn’t want to urge him to open up when he wasn’t ready to talk. I had serious doubts he’d fall asleep or actually sleep well. It was more likely he’d only doze, and startle every now and then, plagued by nightmares. Just like I would at times. At least I’d wake up if he had a nightmare next to me, I thought. “Of course. Let’s try to sleep.”

He rolled onto his side, pulling me along. “Can we stay like that?” 

Spooning up against his back, I wrapped an arm tight around his middle in a protective gesture. “Sure, now try to sleep.” 

It felt a little awkward, resting like that, my left arm trapped between my own chest and his back, slightly twisted at the joints of the shoulder and upper arm and the wrist. It had been quite a while since I’d shared my bed with someone. I’d gotten used to being able to find the most comfortable position for myself and shift and move as I pleased. And still, it felt oddly comforting, knowing that he might fall asleep easier simply because I was close. 

I felt his chest rise and fall against mine and quite involuntarily I found myself adjusting and adopting the same breathing pattern. One moment I caught my thoughts drift back to his confession about the weird angry revenge sex fantasies and the next I heard the buzzing of the alarm I had set on my cell. 

The first thing I realised was that I wasn’t in bed alone. Someone was lying next to me, tugging at the sheets and grousing about the alarm that just went off. It took me a moment to put together all the pieces. The conference in New York, Nicky sharing my bed after we had dinner and the panic attack he’d had without telling me. Memories flooded my brain. Pictures and sensory impressions. Us sitting on the bed, shoulder to shoulder, watching TV. Lying in the dark, our hands touching. Kissing Nicky for the first time. Feeling him in my hand, in my mouth. The taste of his semen on my tongue. The pained expression in his eyes when he asked me if I wanted him to leave. 

Nicky stirred in my arms and I slowly and reluctantly tried to untangle myself to reach for the cell to switch off the alarm. 

“What time is it?” Nicky mumbled sleepily.

“Half-past seven,” I told him and switched on the light. My shoulders and arms were aching and I felt a headache coming on. I had had nowhere near enough sleep. But that was nothing a hot shower, a couple of painkillers and a cup of strong coffee for breakfast couldn’t cure. 

He groaned and pulled the sheets over his head. “I don’t want to get up.”

I had to chuckle, despite the headache. “Come on, Nicky, let’s take a shower.” I gave his shoulder a squeeze. “We could get breakfast.”

“Do we have to?”

I could emphasize, the thought of creeping back into bed with him was way too alluring. “I need a shower, but you could stay in bed till I’m done.”

The top of his head slowly appeared from under the shower again. “Can I join you?”

“If you want to, of course.” 

He shot out of the bed and past me into the bathroom, making me smile. Getting up obviously wasn’t a matter of time for Nicky, but one of motivation. The water was already running and he was standing under the spray when I entered the bathroom. I took some painkillers, washing them down with some water from the tap. Opening the shower stall door I let my gaze wander along his naked back, feeling arousal flare-up. He turned his head and our eyes met. He looked surprised at first, maybe because he hadn’t heard me opening the door. When he noticed my gaze, his expression softened and he switched off the water. 

“What took you so long?”

I stepped into the stall and closing the door, I gave him a benevolent smile. “I thought I’d let you warm the water.”

“Hm, you’re so smart.”

“I know.”

“Smart is the new sexy, you know?” He gave me a smug grin and switched on the water again. 

I stepped closer, laughing despite the fatigue and the impending headache. “Is it?”

Nodding, he turned around. “I could..:”

Questioningly I arched a brow. 

“Soap you up,” he suggested and produced a bottle with liquid soap. I wasn’t sure if it was a smart idea to share a shower and let him soap me up if we wanted to get breakfast before the introductory speeches of the conference. But then, breakfast probably was overrated anyway and coffee would suffice. The painkillers would kick in in a few minutes and we could still get some food for lunch. And what better way was there to start the day after such a night?

We soaped each other up, trading sweet kisses and gently exploring each other. It was better than the night before when we, more or less, quickly made each other come. Nicky hummed in pleasure and I decided that I could get used to that. 

“Can I make a suggestion?” 

“Hm?” Nicky asked dreamily and leaned back against me. 

“You could move your stuff into my room during the lunch break at noon,” I suggested. I couldn’t stand the thought of him having another panic attack because of some flickering green neon lights in front of the window of his room, but I didn’t want to come across too decisive or desperate. 

He kept still for a moment but didn’t turn around. “Are you serious? I don’t want to impose myself upon you.”

I placed my hands on his shoulders, squeezing him firmly. “I am serious, Nicky.” The closet was really generous - considering the few items I had placed inside. The bed was big enough for both of us. Also, we’d spend most of the time in the conference rooms downstairs anyway. After all, this was why we came to New York in the first place. Though I wouldn’t mind being able to spend literally all of the time with him. 

“Or we could swap rooms,” I added quickly when he didn’t reply, trying to offer another solution.

“No, no,” he hastily replied and turned around to face me. “I would love to…” He paused. His cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink and I had to smile. I leaned in and kissed him. He hummed appreciatively and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me even closer and I could feel his arousal press against my thigh. He deepened the kiss, moaning softly into my mouth.

“I want to feel you in me,” he whispered urgently against my neck and I groaned. “I thought about it from time to time,” he continued, slowly rubbing against me and caressing my neck with one hand. “When I was lying alone in bed after yet another shift and you still had no clue.”

“We don’t have condoms or lube, Nicky” I gave back and slid my hand down along his spine, trying to ignore my own growing arousal. I did want him, badly so, but there was no way I’d have sex with him without proper preparation.

“I’m clean.” He leaned back and untangled himself from my touch. The menacing shadow of Kristy was still hanging between us. I knew he’d used protection, that was how they got his DNA after all. 

“That’s not what I am worried about, Nicky,” I stated firmly and placed my hand on his cheek. 

I’d tried not to picture them and didn’t exactly succeed. And I still remembered the conversation we had when he showed up in the lab on his day off. 

_ “You told me, you weren’t dating her.” _

_ “I wasn’t ‘til last night after I broke up a fight with this guy, erm, Jack.” _

_ “And Ecklie’s at her house now.” _

_ “Yeah, and I can tell you what he’s gonna find. My fingerprints, my DNA.” _

_ “What were you thinking, Nicky?” _

_ “I wasn’t. We - had a connection, you know? A chemistry thing, I guess. She was irresistible, man. I took off around four.” _

I hadn’t been exactly impartial back then, I had to admit to myself. Not because of her profession. To be fair, it would not have bothered me less, if she had been a teacher or something less... supposedly condemnable. But hadn’t it been the perfect excuse? To reprimand him for being intimate when I knew I couldn’t have him when he obviously didn’t want me. While serving the state being intimate with a professional sex worker above all? It had been way too easy to act upset.

“Then what is it?”

“I don’t want to hurt you.” 

“You won’t.” He reached for my hand on his cheek to give it a squeeze. 

I grit my teeth. Of course, I had thought about it. Despite trying not to. It just never seemed likely to happen. There was a bottle of lube in the top drawer of my nightstand, back in Vegas. Knowing that I had to go through customs with him I had decided not to bring it and simply abstain from certain things while being in New York. That bottle would have come in quite handy, had I brought it along. I placed a soft kiss on his lips. 

“We can still do that back in Vegas,” I promised.

“Please.” The soft plea and his greedy kiss undid me. I couldn’t fuck him with my cock, but there were other things I could do. 

“There are other things,” I told him and ushered him out of the shower and back to the bed. 


	3. Chapter 3

I placed a towel over the pillow I’d thrown in the middle of the bed and bid him to lie down. He did as I bid and I stretched out next to him, letting my hand wander over the damp skin of his lower back. We hadn’t wasted much time on towelling dry. 

“I hope you like this,” I whispered against his neck and he squirmed when my fingers slipped into the crease between his perfectly shaped buttock cheeks. Without further prompting he spread his legs and rocked against the pillow under his hips, moaning softly. I kissed my way down along his spine, tracing my fingertips along the insides of his thighs. 

He groaned. “What… what are you…”

I chuckled against his hip and brushed a finger along the crease. I was certain he had a pretty good idea what I had in mind but just couldn’t believe it. I shifted and slid between his legs. It wasn’t exactly what he’d wanted, I was aware of that. It was very intimate, too. From what he’d said the night before I gathered that he hadn’t been with a man before. And after he came in my mouth he’d apologised for being unable to do the same for me. I didn’t want to put him under pressure, make him feel that this was what I expected in return from him, too. 

He stiffened as I pulled apart his buttocks. 

“Relax,” I instructed and moved to cover his body with mine, sliding my erection between his buttock cheeks. “Relax,” I whispered again against his ear, “let me do this, Nicky.”

“You don’t have-”

“I want,” I emphasised, “to do this.” 

“I can’t-”

“I’m not expecting you to do the same for me in return.” I certainly didn’t. I moved slowly against him, just enjoying the feel of warm skin sliding against mine. And the friction of his firm buttocks gripping my cock. “I can’t fuck you with my cock, but I can do this.” I lowered my head and nipped at his lobe. “Let me, Nicky. Let me do this.” I wanted to make him feel good, wanted him to enjoy receiving this kind of intimate pleasure as much as I enjoyed giving it. 

“Oh, okay,” he whispered and I felt him relax. 

He shivered and moaned softly, as I knelt between his legs, pulling apart the firm globes with both hands and gently blew a warm breath between his buttocks. 

“How does this feel?”

“It…” he started and after a moment’s hesitation he mumbled, “tickles.”

I laughed and flicked my tongue against his puckered opening. He moaned again and I decided that I liked that sound and that I needed to hear it more often, so I did it again. 

It didn’t take me long to have him squirm and whimper under me, rubbing against the pillow and rocking back against my tongue, sliding into him. It wasn’t the most comfortable position for myself, crouching between his spread legs, angling my head so I could fuck him with my tongue.

“Gil,” he moaned my name, not just “Gris” as he usually did and kneeling between his legs, I had a sudden epiphany. I was his boss, and for a long time, I’d wondered why Warrick seemed to be more comfortable to call me by my first name than Nick had been. At some point, I’d decided that he simply wanted to keep his professional distance. And that maybe he was still miffed because I’d outsmarted him with a silly pun. But obviously, he’d kept a tight lid on his emotions just like I had, to keep me away at arm’s length simply to protect himself. 

I felt him stiffen under me as he came and kept sliding my tongue into his tight opening again and again until he was spent. He lay perfectly still, panting and gasping, as I slowly moved to cover his body with mine. 

“Nicky,” I whispered urgently against his neck. 

“Give it to me, Gil,” he gave back. “You know you want to.” 

“What I want, Nicky, is to fuck you.” No need to be subtle about it. We both wanted it. 

“What a pity we don’t have lube,” he noted dryly and I groaned. Only a few moments later I came over the swell of his buttocks. 

Breathing heavily, I lay half on top of him, nuzzling my nose against his neck.

“Can we just skip today’s seminars and speeches and stay in bed, please?” Nicky asked sleepily, making me chuckle. 

“As much as I’d love to, Nicky, I’m afraid we can’t,” I gave back. “No matter how tempting it sounds.” I had serious doubts we’d be able to get away with it. 

“Hm, pity.” His leg twitched and he cleared his throat. I took the hint and rolled away from him. 

“You know,” he sighed and traced a finger over my arm, “now we have to get into the shower again.”

“Hm.”

“Maybe next time we should do it  _ in  _ the shower,” he suggested thoughtfully.

“Should we?” I asked back. “Why?” 

He gave me a grin. “Might save us some time,” he explained and rested his forehead against my chest. I chuckled and for some minutes we lay in silence. His hand caressed my chest and I found it difficult to keep my eyes open. It was nice, it felt comfortable, just lying there, feeling his skin against mine. I knew that at some point we would have to get up, get dressed and face the world outside. 

Then Nick sighed and stirred. “Come on, let’s hit the shower and get some breakfast.”

We got up, more or less reluctantly, and taking a shower was a quick affair. While I was in the bathroom, trimming my beard, Nick got dressed and went to get fresh clothes from his room. I worried and offered to go with him, but he told me he'd be fine. I wasn’t fully convinced, but I didn’t want to mother him either. I got dressed and took care of the messed up towel, just before he returned to my room to pick me up to get breakfast. 

The restaurant was well-visited, and not exactly the place to have a private conversation. I’m not very good at small talk, so for the better part of the meal we just sat in companionable silence. Nicky grinned at me like the cat that got the cream as he watched me eat scrambled eggs.

“What is it?” I asked, wiping my hand over my mouth and chin, thinking that maybe there was a tiny bit of egg sticking to my beard. 

“Nothing,” he shrugged. “It’s just weird watching you eat, after…” He cast down his eyes and I felt my ears turn pink. 

But before I was able to reply, we got company. Dr Bellows, an anthropologist from Los Angeles, joined us for the rest of the meal. I wasn’t too happy about it at first, and I could see that Nick wasn’t either. But he quickly engaged in animated conversation with Dr Bellows and I decided that I could still talk to him in private in the evening. And all night long. The thought warmed my insides and made me smile. Nick caught it but didn’t mention it until we sat in the seminar about two hours later when there was a short break. 

“Why did you smile when Bellows joined us for breakfast? I kind of had the impression you weren’t too happy that he sat down with us?”

I felt playful, so I told him, “I’ll tell you later.”

“How much later?” Nick demanded, trying to pin me down. 

I leaned a little closer until our shoulders met, and lowered my voice. “I’ll tell you when you tell me about your angry revenge sex fantasies.”

He coughed and seemed to be distracted when the next lecture started. I admit I was a little distracted, too. His thigh pressed against mine under the table, warm and strong. And as if to tease me, he flexed his muscles, but somehow I managed to make it through all of the lectures and speeches. My plans for the lunch break - to spend some time alone with Nick - were spiked by Bellows, who tagged along when we left the room. I decided to put up a brave front. Without attracting Bellows attention, I slipped the key into Nick’s hand so he could move his things from his to my room. 

The afternoon passed in a blur, so did the lectures and speeches and I felt the sleep I’d missed. When the last item on the agenda was done, Nicky suggested we had dinner in that little Italian restaurant again and only too glad I accepted. Not because I was that hungry. It was a welcomed opportunity to hang out with him alone and without the presence of all the other participants of the conference. 

Snowflakes were dancing in the cool evening air as we walked down the two blocks along the busy street. I had Simon and Garfunkel’s song in my ear again and their soft voices singing in perfect harmony about the boxer and the New York City winters.

“Did you enjoy the day?” 

He stopped and pushed his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “You hinting at something special?” He gave me a questioning gaze.

I arched a brow, “Why, Nicky, would it make a difference?”

He seemed to consider the question. Then his expression lit and he shook his head. “No, not really,” he admitted and continued walking. 

A little bit later, when we were sitting at the table in the restaurant, I asked him which speech he’d liked best. He considered for a moment. “I don’t know,” he admitted, “I think I may be a bit partial about that.”

“How come?”

He blushed. “I kinda wasn’t actually able to really focus on any of the speeches.” He let it sink in and I almost could feel the tingle in my shoulder and thigh when he pressed against me back in the conference room. 

“That’s not impartial, Nicky,” I corrected. “You were distracted.” Like I wasn’t, I thought.

He laughed. “I was, too, yes. But you seemed to enjoy that speech on entomology.”

“I did.”

“See, and I enjoyed watching you enjoy it.” He gave me a shy smile and I had to suppress the impulse to reach out and squeeze his hand. 

“Did you?” 

He just smirked and turned to his food again. We ate in silence, without speaking. Our knees were touching under the table and I felt anticipation slowly build low in my belly. It was different than the night before. I knew that he was going to share my bed and that made it only better. It wasn’t just the prospect of having sex with him. 

On the way back he walked so close to me that our shoulders touched. And all the thoughts of Nicky’s sex fantasies I’d managed to shove aside during the day and the lectures surfaced again. It wasn’t so much that he had fantasies, everyone has them. It was the fact that I seemed to feature them and that he had titled them “ _ angry revenge sex fantasies _ ” that made it literally hard to imagine. He usually was soft-spoken, gentle and quite empathetic. He was the retributive factor in the team, the buffer when others got upset. I just couldn’t imagine him holding a grudge or being seriously upset about something or someone for too long. So the thought of him having angry revenge sex fantasies was a little… baffling. I wanted to know more about them. And it wasn’t just sheer scientific curiosity. 

He gave me a questioning gaze in the elevator as he pushed his hands into his pockets. “Penny for your thoughts.”

“Angry revenge sex fantasies,” I gave back, holding his gaze.

He smirked and arched his brow. “I bet it bugged you all day.” He laughed and wrinkles showed around his eyes.

“Not really,” I gave back. The elevator stopped and we exited the small cabin. “In fact, they just popped up in my mind just when we walked back again. I was enjoying myself all day just fine without actually spending a thought on them.” We were walking side by side down the empty corridor. 

“At least you enjoyed the lecture on entomology.”

“That, too.”

“What else did you enjoy?” Nicky asked, his voice a husky whisper, and touched my elbow when we stopped in front of the door of my… no, our room. 

I opened the door and switched on the light. I stepped into the room and hung my jacket on the hooks by the door. “I enjoyed the prospect of spending the evening with you,” I gave back softly, as Nick closed the door behind his back. “Alone.”

“So did I,” he gave back just as softly, then kissed me. Sweet and slow, gently caressing my shoulders and face. 

“So, will you enlighten me?” I whispered against his neck.

He leaned back and gave me a smirk. “What do you mean?” He knew exactly what I meant, what I wanted to know. 

“Angry revenge sex fantasies.”

“Someone’s curious.” 

I was. He knew it and he was thoroughly enjoying every second of not telling me. Was it payback? I couldn’t even blame him if it was. 

“I am,” I admitted. 

He frowned, only for a moment, then his expression softened again. “I could,” he started and I almost thought he had second thoughts or just wanted to continue to tease me. But he leaned closer and continued. “Tell you about my favourite fantasy,” he whispered into my ear. 

“Oh, you really should,” I gave back, feeling arousal and curiosity tingle along my nerves, and kissed him. 

“It’s in the lab and I’m quite frustrated by the end of the shift because you were really, really super annoying,” he started and gave me an apologetic grin. 

“Was I?” I gave back and tugged at the front of his jacket. 

“Oh, yes, you were,” he gave back with a serious expression and nodded. 

“What did I do?” I wanted to know and slipped my hands under the lapels of his jacket. Nick got the hint, shrugged it off his shoulders and tossed it over the armrests of the comfy chair behind him. 

“Just the usual,” he shrugged. “Bossing me around, making me collect dog poop, climb into dumpsters, search a portable toilet for evidence. Nasty stuff.” He wrinkled his nose, which made me laugh.

“Just because you’re good at doing all the nasty stuff,” I gave back. It didn’t surprise me much that the premise of his fantasy was as Nicky described it. After all, it was an angry revenge sex fantasy. 

“Just because you love bossing me around,” Nicky corrected with a smug expression. 

“Well, someone has to be the boss.”

He laughed and gave me a quick kiss. “I know, and I am super annoyed about it.”

“Right now?” I couldn’t help teasing him. 

“In my fantasy, smartass,” he gave back. “So I decided to do something about it and confront you after the shift. In the change room.”

“Where everyone else can walk in on you?” 

“It’s a fantasy, Gil, not rocket science,” Nick gave back. “It’s not meant to be making sense, it’s just an outlet. There won’t be anyone walking in on us in that fantasy.”

“You have fantasies where someone’s catching you in the act?” Intriguing, I thought and decided to store away that thought for later review. 

He blushed. “If I remember correctly, I have the privilege to refuse to give evidence in case I’d incriminate myself by my statement. I’d like to make use of that privilege.”

I suppressed a smirk and kissed him. “Granted,” I gave back. “So you confront me in the change room.”

“Yeah,” he nodded and caressed my arms. “You’re standing right in front of your locker. You’re fresh out of the shower.” 

I usually didn’t use the shower in the lab, except it was absolutely necessary. If the scene of a crime was a sewer or a dumpster. Or the case was that important that we had to work double or triple shifts. “Am I naked?”

He chuckled. “No, you’ve already put on your trousers and are about to button up your shirt. You’ve your back turned to me and it’s an opportunity I can’t let pass. With some handcuffs, I tie your hands behind your back.”

“And I just let you?” 

“Oh, you’re very vocal about how much you don’t like what I do,” he chuckled and started to unbutton my shirt. 

“You could…” I started whispering against his ear, uncertain how to put my wish without scaring him away.

“I could do what?” He asked, rubbing his cheek against mine.

“You could tie me with your belt,” I breathed.

“What?” Nick asked, giving me a surprised gaze.

“You could-” 

“I heard what you said,” he gave back and frowned. He cleared his throat. “Are, are you sure?”

“You don’t have to,” I said softly, patting his chest and he regarded me for a long moment. Then his expression softened and a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. He stepped back and reached for his belt. With slow motions, he undid the buckle and started pulling it from the belt loops and I felt my chest tighten. Years ago I’d suggested it to a lover. She didn’t take it too well and I never brought it up again. 

“Turn around,” he instructed and so I did. 

“You’re quite eager,” Nick whispered against my neck as he stepped closer and reached for my shoulders. 

“I’m just trying to,” I started and stopped as his hands slid down to my wrists, momentarily distracted by the thought that he was actually going to tie me. With his belt. 

“Yeah? Just trying what?” He wrapped the belt in a loop around my wrists.

“Support you in acting out your favourite fantasy,” I managed. But who was I fooling? I was aroused just as much as he was. Maybe even more.

He laughed, pulling the loop tight and I inhaled sharply as he tugged, effectively pulling at my wrists. “Is it too tight?”

I shook my head. “No,” I assured him. He continued wrapping the belt around my wrists, then tucked in the loose end. 

“You’d tell me if you want me to undo it?” Nick asked, suddenly sounding concerned. “Or if it gets too tight?”

Tentatively I tugged at the improvised bond and felt the end of the belt slip out. “See?”

“Yes,” Nick sighed relieved and I decided that we really needed to have a chat about our sexual preferences and safe words sometime later. Much, much later.

“I will tell you if it gets uncomfortable, Nicky,” I told him and turned around, “okay?” 

“Okay,” he nodded and I kissed him. He returned the kiss, caressing my arms and shoulders. Then he fastened the end of the belt and I turned around again. 

I settled back against his chest and into his arms. “So,” I started, “in the change room, you’ve got me cuffed. What’s happening next?” 

His breath was warm against my neck, as he chuckled. “You tell me to let go of you and that this is not a joke.”

“Do I?” I tried to picture it. 

“Hm, yeah. But though you tell me to stop it you don’t even try to get away from me,” Nick said. “You press back against me, and I know that you want it as much as I do. I mean…” He cleared his throat and I knew what bothered him. 

“It’s a fantasy, Nicky,” I assured him softly. “An  _ angry revenge sex _ fantasy maybe, but a fantasy.”

“You don’t think it’s strange or… creepy?”

I didn’t need long to consider his question. I had dealt with way more strange, truly disturbing things in my job than Nicky’s fantasy. “No,” I gave back, “I don’t think it’s strange.” Considering our working relationship it did make sense that he came up with a scenario in which he had the upper hand. Even if it meant using handcuffs. Or for the lack of a pair, a worn leather belt. 

“Good,” he whispered against my neck, toying with the top button of my shirt. 

I decided that if we were acting out his fantasy, I might as well act according to what he’d described my reaction. Of course, I couldn’t act too upset. We were in a hotel and someone might hear us. The last thing we needed was to attract attention. 

“What are you doing, Nicky? What’s with the cuffs?” I asked softly, making sure I didn’t sound too upset.

His hand stilled for a brief moment, then he undid the button he’d been playing with. “Oh, you know very well what this is about,  _ boss _ ,” he gave back just with a soft drawl and continued to unbutton my shirt. “I’ve noticed you looking at me today.” 

“Of course I was looking at you, what’s wrong with the way I was looking at you?” 

“Hm, nothing,” he mumbled and nipped at my lobe while his hand slipped under my shirt. “You were undressing me with your looks.”

“I wasn’t.”

“Oh yes, you were, “ Nick insisted and caressed my chest. “You’d never admit it, but I know you want me.”

“I don’t”, I groaned and fought the urge to tug at the belt to get rid of it. I wanted to turn around to grab and kiss him. As if he’d sensed it, Nicky chuckled and slid his hand lower.

“Why don’t I believe you?” He asked.

“Comes with the territory?” I suggested. “Or maybe you’re suspicious by nature?”

He laughed. “So if I moved my hand a little bit lower, I wouldn’t find out-”

“Find out what?”

“That a certain part of your anatomy is... tumescent?”

I groaned again. Who would use the word tumescent in such a situation? I wanted to reply to his daring question. Something, just anything, but I found it difficult to focus. Nick pushed his hips forward, letting me feel his arousal and moved his hand lower. He cupped my half-hard erection and hummed against my neck.

“So,  _ boss _ ,” he whispered, gently squeezing me, “Is that a gun or are you happy to see me?”

“You know very well that I don’t carry a gun,” I gave back. “Wouldn’t have made it through customs with one.”

“Hm, so you  _ are _ happy.” 

“Well,  _ happy  _ isn’t exactly the word I’d use to describe it.”

“No?” He chuckled, opening the button of my trousers. “So, what other words would you use then?” He slowly pulled down the zipper. 

“Horny,” I groaned as he slipped his hand under the elastic waistband of my briefs.”Happy doesn’t even-”

His laughter interrupted me and he wrapped his fingers loosely around my cock. “Hm, I see,” he whispered and started slowly stroking me. “I thought about touching you all day,” he murmured and I wasn’t sure whether this confession was still about his fantasy. Not that it made any difference. 

“So did I,” I admitted, letting my head fall back against his shoulder.

“Do I need to worry about Bellows?” he asked, not stopping the movement of his hand. “He seemed quite fond of you.”

“Seriously, Nicky?” I wasn’t quite sure whether he was teasing or kidding me. 

He chuckled. “Why? He was quite eager to join us for breakfast.”

“Are you trying to blame me for that?”

“Well, you didn’t even try to get rid of him when he followed us for lunch,” he whispered against my neck and tugged at my lobe with his teeth. 

“Are you... jealous?” 

He seemed to hesitate for a moment and stilled the motion of his hand. “A little bit,” he confessed softly. 

“Don’t worry,” I gave back, just as softly, well aware that he wasn’t just talking about Bellows at the moment. “I’m all for playing, but I’m not into playing that kind of games.” 

“Good,” he mumbled and started moving his hand again. Slowly, with loose fingers. Providing enough stimulation to arouse, but not nearly enough friction to actually come. 

“Come on,” I groaned in frustration and he laughed softly. “What?”

“I want-” I started, but he interrupted me.

“What makes you think you’ll have any say in this?” He taunted daringly and stopped moving his fingers. I groaned and he laughed. “I think it’s only fair to make you pay.”

“What for?”

“Yeah, well, I don’t know, but let me think about that,” he murmured. He let go of my erection and started caressing my belly. “Well, what about…” His teeth grazed my neck, sending shivers down my spine. “Silk. Silk. Silk.” He let it sink in, and sink in it did. I’d apologized the night before and he’d seemed over it. But I still wondered how badly I’d wronged him. Obviously, it was I who still wasn’t over it yet. 

He must have sensed my discomfort because he chuckled. “Someone’s having a guilty conscience,” he noted and scratched at my nipple with his fingernail.

“Nicky, I’m,” I began, but couldn’t think of anything to tell him I hadn’t said before.

“Hm? You’re what?” His fingertips drew lazy circles on my naked skin. I wasn’t as eloquent as I liked to believe I usually was that very moment, I admitted to myself, at an obvious loss for words. And I wasn’t able to tell whether it was just my arousal or my inability to apologize.

“Distracted?” He prompted. “Horny? Sorry?” 

“All of the above, I guess” I admitted. 

With a gentle touch on my chin, he turned my head and kissed me. I tried to will his hand to wander down to where it had held me so tightly. He laughed as he let go of my lips again, softly against my neck, as if he’d read my mind. 

“What’s so funny?” 

His fingers continued drawing circles on my chest. “You,” he gave back, “trying to pretend this doesn’t affect you.”

I barely managed a half-groan. 

“Hm,” he whispered against my ear. “I’m not sure what you are trying to tell me.”

“Please, Nicky,” I moaned, trying to wriggle free from his embrace. 

“Please what?” His warm breath tickled my neck as his hand slowly slid down again.

“Quit playing. Please.”

“It’s way too much fun teasing you,” he whispered and despite growing arousal, I could sympathise. “I think it’s time you learn some patience.”

“Nicky, I may be many things, but most certainly I’m not impatient.” I felt the urge to correct his assumption which only served to make him laugh.

“I’d love to find out,” he drawled, his nails slowly scratching over the over-sensitive skin of my groin, “just how patient you are,  _ boss _ .” 

I wasn’t sure just how much longer I’d be able to stand his sensual onslaught. “Nicky, please, you can test the limits of my patience back home in Vegas any time you like. But now-”

“Now? What’s now, Gil?”

“I need to feel you, Nicky,” I admitted. Anticipation had been building all day, slowly, but steady. I knew that I wasn’t able to hold back my impending orgasm very much longer. I was sure I’d come right on the spot the moment he’d wrap his hand around me. 

“Do you?”

“Yes,” I admitted breathlessly. I was way too aroused to come up with a witty reply. I’d felt his thigh press against mine all morning, which in itself wasn’t half as distracting as the thoughts this touch induced. And instead of actually following the lectures and speeches, I’d pictured the things we’d do once we were alone in the hotel room again.

“Back in Vegas, huh?” Nicky rasped against my ear, engulfing me once again in a firm and tight grip and started to move his hand.

“Yeah.” With a moan I let my head fall back against his shoulder. 

“How convenient for you that I’m willing to… comply with your wish,” he mumbled and nipped at my lobe. All it took were a couple more strokes and feeling his ragged breathing against my neck, and I came. 

Nicky whispered something that I didn’t catch and kept stroking me until I was spent. With his free hand, he undid the belt and I turned and caught his lips in a greedy kiss. 


	4. Chapter 4

“Shower?” I suggested, and he eagerly agreed. We stripped off our clothes quickly, carelessly dropping them to the floor and got into the shower and under the warm spray, even if it was just for a few minutes. 

“Tell me what you want, Nicky,” I asked him and switched off the water. 

“God, you know exactly what I want,” he groaned and it was my turn to smile. But I felt way too content and satisfied to tease. And of course, I knew. 

“I do, Nicky,” I gave back, giving his lovely buttock a firm squeeze. “Something like this?”

He groaned as I slipped my fingers into the crease and teased his opening. He wrapped an arm around me, rubbing his leaking erection against my thigh. “Oh yes...”

“You’re so tight, Nicky,” I whispered and pulled back my hand, sliding two fingers into my mouth and slicking them with my own saliva. It wasn’t perfect, but it would do. For the moment. “And when we’re back home in Vegas…” I let my voice trail off, slowly sliding my fingers into him.

“What then?” Nicky panted and rocked back against my hand. 

“I’m going to fuck your sweet tight ass,” I promised and with my other hand reached for his erection. “Would you like that?”

“Yeah,” he groaned, then kissed me passionately. It didn’t take long until I felt him tense and clench around my fingers. He came, spilling his seed over my hand and against my belly. I held him until his breathing evened out, caressing his back. He rested his forehead on my shoulder and sighed contentedly. “Hm.”

“Hm, indeed,” I chuckled and switched on the water again. Lazily, we soaped up each other and rinsed down. 

“I’m really glad you asked me to join you - for the conference and to stay in your room,” Nicky told me in between kissing me gently as we towelled each other dry. 

“Are you?”

He nodded, then gave me a dopey smile. “Yeah.”

“Me, too,” I gave back and kissed him again. I hadn't been exactly altruistic when I suggested he should take Catherine's ticket, but I had no idea we'd end up like this. “Come on, let’s go to bed.”

He smirked and reached for my hand. “Sounds like a plan.” He tugged me along towards the bed and only too eager I followed. 

“Want a drink?” I asked and watched him climb onto the bed, languidly stretching his limbs like a huge, lazy cat. 

“Yeah,” he nodded and tucked one arm behind his head. I let my gaze travel along with his naked form, taking in his perfectly shaped chest and thighs, the flat belly and the tuft of black hair, curly and still wet from the shower. 

He smiled as he caught me looking. “I like the way you look at me,” he stated, matter of factly, giving me a come-hither look through heavy-lidded eyes, with the fingers of his left hand drawing lazy circles around his navel. And for a fleeting moment, I felt a little bit envious of his youth and beauty. 

“And I like looking at you,” I gave back, reaching for the bottle and the glass on the nightstand. For years I’d tried not to look, to not pay too much attention to what his tight shirts could barely conceal. But now that he lay on the bed, naked, and after we had sex in the shower, there was no reason to not look or to pretend I didn’t notice. And it was more than obvious that he enjoyed being looked at.

I uncorked the bottle and poured him some of the amber liquid, pondering how lucky I was, to have this - him, naked and willing on my bed - then placed the bottle back onto the nightstand. I handed him the glass and sat down next to him. The other glass sat on the shelf over the lavatory in the bathroom, but I felt way too lazy to get up again to get it.

He took a sip, then offered me the glass. “Want to share?” 

Our fingers touched and he arched a brow as I nodded and took the glass. His gaze followed my hand, lifting the glass to my lips, then travelled down along my body. I felt a little uncomfortable because I was only too aware of my age and the physical shape I was in. He smirked as if sensing my thoughts and placed his hand on my thigh. 

“You know, I like looking, too,” he softly said, completely unfazed by my momentarily discomfort.

“Are you?” I wasn't quite convinced.

He nodded. “Yeah,” he said, caressing my thigh, “but I like touching better than just looking at you.”

I arched a brow and sat down the glass on the nightstand. Then I turned to him again. “I like touching, too, Nicky,” I said and stretched out next to him, placing my hand on his chest. 

“Hm, that’s good,” he mumbled and placed his hand on my hip. I wasn’t quite certain whether he referred to the fact that we both enjoyed touching or just commented on me laying down next to him. He caught my lips in a gentle kiss and I decided that it didn’t matter. 

“I liked what you did with the belt,” I confessed as he let his head fall back into the pillows again. 

“You know, I’ve always thought I was pretty vanilla,” he gave back thoughtfully, his hand still resting on my hip. 

I wondered why people always needed to classify sexual behaviour, label and neatly put themselves - and others - in boxes. 

“You do?” I asked, curiously.

He blushed. “You know, I’ve had my share of,” he paused and frowned, only for a short moment and I wondered what word he tried to avoid, “relationships, but I haven’t really been... adventurous.”

I arched a brow, questioningly, as I tried to figure what exactly that was supposed to mean. 

“Come on, you know what I mean.”

“No,” I gave back, shaking my head. Was he referring to sharing and acting out fantasies or was it being with another man?

He rolled his eyes and snorted. “I’ve never wanted to tie someone.”

“There’s a first time for everything, Nicky,” I gave back softly, caressing his chest. Various expressions flitted over his face. “But you did enjoy it?” I asked, not wanting to just assume. 

The blush on his cheeks intensified. “Yes,” he admitted and cast down his eyes. 

“Do you want to do it again?”

He raised his gaze, looking directly into my eyes. “Yes,” he said with a serious expression and nodded.

“Good.” I gave him a smile. “Have you considered you never wanted to tie someone because you’ve never been with someone who bosses you around all day?”

He frowned and shrugged. “I… don’t know,” he said thoughtfully. 

Most people had “a type”, and Nick probably had one, too. Part of the attraction with Kirsty might have been that she was the classic “damsel in distress” and he was the knight in shiny armour who came to her rescue. He liked helping people and knowing someone was in trouble usually brought out the best, the protector in him. He was a gentleman, and I just couldn’t picture him tying someone who was physically weaker than him. 

“Do you think I enjoyed tying you because it enabled me to... exercise power?” He gave me a doubtful glance. 

“Did you?” I gave back the question. “Maybe you enjoyed it because it was part of your fantasy before,” I offered, sliding my hand to his shoulder, giving him a squeeze. He held my gaze, waiting for me to continue. “And you know, you didn’t coerce or force me, if that’s what you’re worried about. I gave my consent.”

“You offered,” he noticed.

“I did,” I nodded, “because I trust you.” I let my hand slide over his shoulder, down over his strong upper arm. 

His expression lit and he moved closer. “I wasn’t afraid to hurt you,” he confessed, giving my hip a squeeze. “You’re strong,” he paused as he noticed my arched brow and he instantly flashed an apologetic smile. “No, I didn’t mean,” he shook his head and wrapped his fingers around my biceps. “I knew that you’d be able to-”

“I know what you mean,” I interrupted and Nicky smirked with relief. Then he leaned in and kissed me. 

He moved against me, slowly sliding one leg between my thighs. It was nice to feel the slide of his still slightly wet body against mine, firm muscles below warm skin. He moaned softly into my mouth, as the kiss grew more passionate. 

“Hm,” I mumbled against his neck, feeling utterly pleased. Being tied and stroked to orgasm had been spectacular, but this, being able to hold him in the aftermath, was even better. Intimate. 

“Hm, yeah,” Nick agreed in a mumble and caressed my cheek. 

I shifted in his embrace and reached for the glass behind me on the nightstand. I offered him the glass. “Want some more?”

With a smile, he accepted the glass. “I’ll always want more if you’re offering,” he said and suggestively arched a brow. 

“Would you?” 

“I would.” He took a sip, his eyes never leaving mine, then handed me back the glass. I put it back on the nightstand and placed a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. 

“It’s still early in the evening,” I told him and nipped at his lobe. He shivered and slid his hand to my hip. 

“Got any plans?”

“Hm, I do,” I gave back and placed kisses along his jawline. He hummed appreciatively and tightened his grip on my hip. 

“What kind of plans?” He wanted to know and chuckled. “Watching some episodes of ‘The joy of painting’?” His hand wandered to my chest. 

“That isn’t  _ exactly  _ what I had in mind.” 

“No?” He asked teasingly. 

“No.”

“What do you have in mind then?” 

“Making out with you,” I whispered against his ear. 

“Hm, yes.” He slid his hand up my chest, along my neck to cup my cheek and kissed me. He pushed forward his hip against my thigh and thrust his tongue into my mouth. For a while we traded kisses, rocking against each other, our hands exploring every inch of skin within reach. It felt nice, less urgent than before when I was overly excited and tied. After a while, he let go of my lips and nipped at my jaw. He licked down my neck and placed soft kisses on my chest. A spike of pain shot through me when he nipped at my nipple and I bit back a moan.

“You like that?” He asked and flicked his tongue against my nipple. 

“Yes.” I knew I wouldn’t be able to have another orgasm, let alone an erection, but I could still enjoy this. His nails scratched over one nipple, while he sucked at the other. Closing my eyes, I let my head fall back into the pillow and caressed his shoulder. “Feels good.” 

He stopped teasing my nipples, slowly untangling himself from my embrace and shifted on the bed. Only when his warm, wet mouth closed around the tip of my softened member, I realised what he was up to. He sucked gently. 

“Oh, Nicky, I’m not 30 anymore,” I told him softly, patting his hair. “I won’t be able to have another erection anytime soon.”

He pulled back and looked up at me. “Do you want me to stop?”

“No.” I caressed his cheek. “I like it.” 

“Good.” He looked pleased and I felt a little guilty for enjoying his caresses. The night before it was obvious that he felt uncomfortable about performing oral sex. Still, he wanted to do it. 

“You don’t have to do this, Nicky.” 

“I want to,” he mumbled and lowered his head again. I let my head fall back into the pillow again, giving myself over to his ministrations that were tentative and gentle. I tried not to move, not wanting to distract him. 

I encouraged him with soft whispers and light touches on his shoulder and wondered what it might feel like if he did that again when I was fully aroused. But I knew I wouldn’t ask for it. He let go of me, placing a kiss on my hip and crawled back into my embrace. Softly humming, he snuggled up against me and buried his face in the hollow of my neck.

“Hm, I really liked that.” I slid my arm around his middle. 

“Did you?” He placed a kiss on the corner of my mouth. 

“Very much so, Nicky,” I admitted. 

He chuckled, then moved his hip, pushing his arousal against my thigh. “I, I liked it, too.”

I let my hand travel to his hip. ”Obviously,” I gave back, “I can feel how much you liked it.”

“I’ve always liked,” he started, then paused for a moment. “Giving head,” he continued with a slight frown. “I mean, I’m not as good as you-”

“It’s not a contest,” I replied and captured his lips in a gentle kiss. It wasn’t. He might have lacked the finesse, but I was certain if he decided he liked it and wanted to do it again, over time he’d pick up a trick or two. And if he didn’t like it, so be it. As much as I’d enjoyed it, I didn’t want him to do anything just because he felt obligated to do so. I wanted him to enjoy it, too. 

“You know, you could teach me,” he suggested playfully. “You’re a good teacher.” He knew exactly how to get me. 

“I could,” I gave back. “And you could start by-” I gently pushed at his shoulder. With a smirk he let himself be pushed back into the pillows. 

“Start by what?” 

I wrapped my hand around his erection, stroking slowly. “By laying back and letting me show you.”

“You’re really, really eager to suck me,” Nick stated and placed a hand on my cheek.

“I am,” I admitted. “Do you mind?”

He brushed his thumb over my lips. “No,” he said, frowning and slowly shaking his head. “Would you like to play some more?”

I arched a brow. “Play?” I asked, not stopping to stroke him.

“Yeah.” He nodded. His breathing accelerated and his cheeks turned pink and I wondered what he might come up with.

“What do you want to play, Nicky?” I whispered and rubbed my thumb over the tip of his cock. 

He moaned softly and cast down his eyes, then moved his hand along my jaw to my ear. His fingers toyed with the short hair in my neck. He swallowed, then licked his lips, before he opened his eyes again. “Beg for it,” he whispered.

“Beg for what?”

He moved closer, trapping my hand between our bodies. “You want to suck me? I want you to beg for it.” 

Arousal coiled low in my belly. “You want me to beg?”

“Yeah.”

I arched a brow and kissed him. If he wanted me to beg, beg I would. 

“Let me suck you, Nicky,” I whispered against his neck. 

He shivered. “If you really want to suck my cock, you’ve got to convince me.”

I had to bite back a chuckle and cleared my throat, “Please, Nicky, let me suck you.” I nipped at his lobe. “I want to feel you in my mouth.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes.”

He hummed appreciatively and I decided to try a bit harder. 

“Please, Nicky, I want to taste you,” I whispered. “Been thinking about it all day.”

“Tell me.” He rocked against me, his fingers curling into my hair. “Tell me what you’ve been thinking.” 

“I was thinking that I could spend the lunch break with you. Moving your things to our room,” I started and moved my hand to his hip. “And have you for a couple of minutes all to myself.”

“To review the lectures of the morning?” He laughed softly. 

“To throw you on the bed and make you come down my throat.” 

With a moan he arched up against me, rubbing his leaking cock against my lower belly. “You really enjoy sucking cock, do you?”

“Yes,” I admitted. “Will you let me suck you, Nicky, please?”

“Do you want me to tie you with my belt again?”

I felt my heart beat slightly faster and a tingling sensation in my groin. “Yes.”

He leaned in and kissed me, then helped me get up from the bed. In no time he had found his belt and only too eager I offered my wrists. He slipped the loop around them and tied me quickly. His hands wandered up to my arms. 

“So eager,” he said, pressing his arousal into the crease of my buttocks. Giving my shoulders a firm squeeze, he nipped at my neck, I moaned and arched back into his embrace. “You really like it when I’m in charge, don’t you?”

“I do.” 

He hummed softly against my ear and let his hand slowly slide down over my back. He slapped one buttock cheek, lightly and gave it a firm squeeze. “It’s a pity we don’t have lube,” he said.

“Because I can’t fuck you?”

He placed his hands on my hips, digging his fingers into my muscles as he started to rock against me, slowly and rhythmically. “Because  _ I _ can’t fuck  _ you _ .”

I groaned and picked up his rhythm, trying to imagine it. It had been way too long since I’d been with another man. 

“Would you like that?” he asked, rubbing his cheek against mine. “Would you like to feel me inside you?”

“Oh yes, Nicky, I’d like that.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yes.”

“I could bend you over that armchair,” he said, sliding one hand up my back along the spine and wrapped his fingers around my neck possessively. “And fuck you slow and deep.”

“Oh, yes.” 

We moved the few steps to the chair and I bent slightly forward over the back, resting my chest on the soft cushion. He kept rocking against me and I moaned softly. “Oh, Nicky.”

“You like that?” He firmly squeezed my buttock cheek. 

“Yes.” 

He made me turn around and cupping my face in both hands he kissed me, deep and passionate. “I can’t believe how much I want you, Gil,” he groaned against my neck, pressing his arousal into my belly and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. I was a little overwhelmed by the intensity of his declaration. 

“And how do you want me now, Nicky?” 

He panted. “Any way you’ll let me.”

“Sit down on the bed,” I said softly. Not letting go of me, he stepped back and sat down on the edge of the bed. He helped me kneel down between his thighs, then frowned. 

“Wait,” he placed a hand on my chest, then reached behind him on the bed. 

“What’s up?”

He showed me a pillow with a sheepish grin. “Rug burns are a bitch,” he said and his expression sobered, then placed the pillow on the floor. 

I looked up at him and I couldn’t believe how lucky I was. 

When I suggested he should take Catherine’s ticket and come along to the conference, I thought we might be spending a few days away from the lab and have a good time. I wasn’t exactly altruistic, though, but sex had been the last thing on my mind. I couldn’t have anticipated that this might happen - that the memory of his abduction was triggered by a damn flickering green neon light outside his window. And that he’d end up spending the night in my arms. That he’d enjoyed acting out his sex fantasy so much that he wanted to do it again. Just like me. 

But it wasn’t just physical, though that was a huge part, too. He cared, and didn’t want me to hurt myself. I shifted and knelt down on the pillow. 

I must have made a funny face because he gave me a puzzled look. “What’s up?”

I held his gaze and all of a sudden realised that I wasn’t just fond of him or liked him like a friend and I finally admitted to myself that my feelings went much, much deeper. “I, I love you,” I whispered, surprised by my discovery. 

“I love you, Gil,” he whispered and cupped my cheek in his warm hand. He leaned forward and I arched up to meet his lips. The kiss was soft and gentle and my head was spinning. I’d never dared to hope for more than a platonic friendship and still there we were. Naked and aroused and kissing. 

“Hm, that’s nice,” he mumbled against my lips, his hand caressing my shoulder. 

“Hm, it is,” I gave back, “but I know something that’s even better.”

“Do you?” He asked, nipping at my lips.

“Hm, I do.”

“Something... particular?” He asked playfully and I had to chuckle. “Why don’t you let me surprise you?”

He lifted my chin and kissed me again. “Surprise me, then.”

I flicked my tongue over the tip of his cock, tasting a drop of precome and he moaned as I lowered my head. He whispered softly to me all the time, running his fingers through my hair while I pleased him with my mouth and it didn’t take me long to make him come. He tensed and gasped my name and salty-bitter fluid rolled over my tongue. 

Panting heavily, he fell back onto the mattress and with some effort, I managed to get the belt off my wrists. I climbed onto the bed and he wrapped himself around me, burying his nose in the hollow of my neck.

“God, that was,” he sighed and he sounded utterly pleased. 

“Hm, it was, Nicky,” I agreed, caressing his back, feeling no less pleased. For a while, we lay there, and I felt his chest rise and fall against mine. 

“I had no idea,” he mumbled and slowly untangled himself from my embrace. He leaned back and gave me an intent gaze.

I gave him a small smile. “I had no idea either,” I said and kissed him gently. 

His hand slid down to my groin. “Do you want me to take care of that?”

Before he was able to wrap his hand around me, I took his hand and kissed his palm. “Nicky, I told you, I’m not 30 anymore.” I was half-hard. Kneeling before him, naked and tied, had aroused me. But the lack of sleep was taking its toll. 

“Didn’t you tell me that it’s still early in the evening?”

“I suppose I was overestimating-”

“Overestimating what?” He asked with an amused grin. 

“You know what I mean,” I gave back, good-naturedly and kissed him. 

He laughed. “Maybe we should call it an early night?” He yawned and a few minutes later he snuggled up against my back, wrapping an arm around my middle while I switched off the light. 

“Works like a charm,” he mumbled, “every single time.”

“Hm?”

He chuckled. “That thing that usually makes you pretty sleepy.”

I laughed softly and placed my hand on his on my chest. 

“I never thought I could have this,” he whispered softly against my neck. “You.”

I tightened my grip on his hand and smiled in the dark. “Nor did I.”

He drew a deep breath, then released a pleased sigh. “G’night,” he mumbled sleepily. 

“Good night, Nicky,” I gave back, and only minutes later I was asleep. 

When I woke up, it was still dark, a glance at my watch on the nightstand told me, it was half-past three. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom and took a leak. When I returned to bed and tried to slip under the sheets again, Nicky snuggled up to me. 

“Hm, where have you been?” He sounded sleepy and let his hands wander over my naked body. “When I woke up, the bed was empty,” he mumbled with an accusing tone. 

“Nature’s call and I needed a sip of water.” 

“Is there something else... you need?” He asked and nipped at my neck. 

I relaxed into his embrace. “Hm, can’t think of anything at the moment.”

“No?”

“But I am sure you already have something in mind,” I gave back. 

“Hm, I do,” he whispered and slipped his hand between my thighs. 

The next time I woke, it was still dark outside, but the lamp on the nightstand was burning. Nicky sat on the armchair next to the bed and was grinning like the cat that got the cream. He was fully dressed and his hair was still wet. On his lap rested a book.

“Good morning,” he said softly and I wondered how I could have slept through all that - him getting up, showering and getting dressed. I rubbed my eyes and sat up. “Good morning.”

“Did you sleep well?”

“I must have. I didn’t even hear you in the shower.” 

He laughed. “You looked so peaceful, I just couldn’t bring myself to wake you up.”

Despite the early hour I smiled, it was utterly sweet, I thought. “We can share a shower another time.”

“Definitely,” he gave back with a grin. “Now, do you plan to spend the day in bed or will you get up?”

“You just want to watch me get my naked butt under the shower,” I said accusingly.

He arched a brow. “Guilty as charged.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Also, I’m hungry.”

”Well, then I suppose I have to get up if only to make sure you’ll get breakfast.” 

He laughed and I got up. When I came out of the bathroom, showered and shaved, he was packing his small black sports bag. He arched a brow and gave me a smile as I put on my briefs. In silence I got dressed, wondering what might happen when we were back again in Vegas. 

I startled when his hand touched my shoulder.

“Are you okay?”

I looked up and found him sizing me up with a worried glance. “Yes, Nicky,” I nodded and gave him a small smile.

“Are you having second thoughts?” 

“About what?”

He pulled back his hand. “This.” 

He didn’t have to spell it out, I knew what he meant. It wouldn’t be easy, back in Vegas, back in the lab with the others. Catherine was able to read me like a book, there was no way I’d be able to hide it from her. It would impact work, his and mine, as well as it would impact the team. It had been foolish to act upon my desire in the middle of the night, not thinking about the consequences. And still…

“No,” I said and placed my hand on his shoulder. “I don’t.” 

He relaxed visibly and his expression softened. “Me neither.”

“Good.” 

He gave my hand a squeeze. “Breakfast?”

“Sounds like a plan,” I gave back. “Why don’t you go and have a coffee, while I pack my bag?”

“Don’t take too long,” he told me and I promised I wouldn’t, then he left, his bag in hand. And I packed my bag and left a hefty tip for the cleaning service, after all, it was a pretty mess with the towels we made. 

The breakfast room was quite crowded, and Nicky already had female company at the table, when I joined him. He introduced me to a pathologist from Montreal and another CSI from Boston. It was an interesting conversation we had over breakfast. Both joined us for the seminars and lectures and for lunch. And both sized him up with glances which he obviously didn’t notice, much to my amusement. Only too soon the last lecture was over, and we took a taxi back to the airport. 

We sat thigh to thigh and shoulder to shoulder in companionable silence in the boarding area. It was almost like two days ago. Except, something was different. We both knew where we stood. It wouldn’t be easy back in Vegas, but at least I didn’t have to lie about my feelings to Nick anymore. 

“Penny for your thoughts,” Nicky said, stretching his limbs and putting one arm behind me on the armrest in an almost possessive gesture. 

I drew a deep breath. It wouldn’t do any good to spoil the mood. The flight was still on schedule and we’d be back in Vegas before midnight and we weren’t supposed to be back in the lab before the start of the next shift. Almost 24 hours to ourselves. 

A stewardess announced the start of the boarding and I gave him a smile. 

“Got any plans back in Vegas?” I asked and got up and grabbed my bag. He also got up and shouldered his bag.

“I don’t know,” he said playfully as we walked over to the counter to join the queue. “But I wanted to get back to my usual sleep pattern, so I guess I should stay up all night.”

“Oh, do you?” 

He shrugged his shoulders and smirked. “What about you?”

“I thought about reviewing the notes I took,” I gave back. I had enjoyed being around him all the time but didn’t want to assume we could simply continue sticking around each other once we were back in Vegas. No matter what he’d said. After all, he might want some time to himself. 

“Seriously?” He asked and we moved a few steps closer to the counter. 

“You didn’t take notes?” I was certain, I’d seen him scribble down in a notebook. There had been hand-outs, and we’d added our email addresses on the list to receive the presentations as files. But still, it was something different to write down your own impressions. 

“I did take notes,” he gave back with a touch of defensiveness, “But there are other things I’d rather do tonight than reviewing my notes.” He arched a brow suggestively, took passport and ticket from my hand and handed both along with his own passport and ticket to the stewardess at the counter with a flashing smile. She beamed at him and gave me a nod, and handing back the passports and tickets to Nick, wished us a good flight. 

In the small corridor leading to the aeroplane, Nicky slipped his documents into his bag and handed me my passport and ticket. 

“Also, there’s a promise you made,” he murmured and I had to smile. 

“I… did, Nicky,” I gave back just as softly. “You could come over for breakfast.”

“Breakfast?” He stopped in his tracks and gave me a puzzled look.

“Yes, breakfast,” I repeated and stopped, too.

“That’s eight hours, Gil,” he noted with a puzzled look. 

“Yes,” I gave back, “you’re very good at recalculating.” 

He snorted. “We didn’t even have dinner yet.”

“We could have dinner together and see what happens then,” I suggested with a smirk. “I am certain, we’ll come up with something, Nicky.” I gave him a wink, squeezing his shoulder, then turned around and continued walking. “Oh, and if we don’t, we still can review our notes.”

It took him a moment, then he burst into laughter and followed me.

_ FINIS _


End file.
